CommunicationPsychology
Why you get defensive in arguments
Defensiveness kills productive conflict. Here's why your brain does it and how to respond differently when your partner raises a complaint.
11 min
Conflict
17 articles on conflict.
RelationshipsConflict
High-conflict vs. low-conflict couples: which are you?
Gottman identified three stable couple styles: volatile, avoiding, and validating. The key isn't which style you are, it's the 5:1 ratio.
12 min
QuestionsConflict
25 questions to ask after an argument
25 questions to process a fight with your partner. Move from defensiveness to understanding with the right post-argument conversation.
10 min
RelationshipsConflict
When compromise isn't the answer
Not every disagreement has a middle ground. Here's how to tell the difference between flexibility and self-abandonment.
12 min
CommunicationConflict
Passive-aggressive behavior in relationships
Passive-aggression isn't about dishes left in the sink. It's anger that learned to hide. How to spot it, respond to it, and stop doing it yourself.
12 min
ConflictRelationships
Why you always fight about the same things
69% of couple conflicts are perpetual. Here's why the dishes fight is never about the dishes, and how to stop the loop.
12 min
CommunicationConflict
The repair conversation: what to say after a big fight
The conversation after a fight matters more than the fight itself. Here is exactly how to have it.
12 min
RelationshipsPsychology
Resentment: where it comes from and how to let it go
Resentment is unexpressed anger plus time. Here is where it comes from, what it does to your body, and how to release it.
11 min
RelationshipsPsychology
Forgiving your partner when it feels impossible
What forgiveness actually is, why "just let it go" never works, and the research-backed process for forgiving your partner.
11 min
ConflictPsychology
The pursuer-withdrawer pattern: why you fight the same fight every time
The pursuer-withdrawer cycle explains why 60% of couples fight the same way every time. Learn how to break the pattern.
11 min
CommunicationPsychology
The silent treatment: what it does to your brain and your bond
The silent treatment activates the same brain regions as physical pain. Here's what the research says about why it happens and how to stop the cycle.
11 min
CommunicationConflict
Expressing your needs without starting a fight
Research-backed techniques for telling your partner what you need without triggering defensiveness or escalation.
12 min
CommunicationConflict
12 rules for fighting fair
Conflict isn't the problem; how you fight is. Twelve research-backed rules for fighting fair, from soft startups to repair attempts.
12 min
CommunicationRelationships
Why most apologies don't work
Most apologies make things worse. What the research says about real repair attempts and why 'I'm sorry you feel that way' always fails.
9 min
CommunicationConflict
How to have hard conversations without fighting
Soft startups, the speaker-listener format, repair attempts: tested techniques for hard conversations that don't turn into fights.
12 min
CommunicationPsychology
What is stonewalling, and what to do when your partner shuts down
When your partner shuts down mid-argument, it's usually not a choice. Why stonewalling happens, what's going on physically, and how to break it.
12 min